Intact pride

Because no actual recipe exists, just a list of ingredients left to a cook's imagination, my Grandma's Monster Cookies aren't an experience guaranteed to everyone.  I mean, I could probably piece it together in some recognizable order, construct a successful reunion among the sugars, butters, and syrups, but that type of generosity isn't always best for non-cooks everywhere.  Certain recipe-making wannabes have earned the difficulties in their kitchens, through neglectful use and abuse of their burners.  Sons of Monster Cookie masters are everything daughters would hope them to be, nothing short of loyal, true, and honest...leaning naturally towards the more authentic cookies, by nature.  Creaming 12 ounces of peanut butter and 1/4 lb of butter with 1-3/8 cups of brown sugar and 1 cup of white sugar...probably the next obvious step, in reality.  I mean, how much more rejection can mixing 3 eggs in stand, does it take adding 1/4 tablespoon each of vanilla and corn syrup to the family's tried-and-true batter...or is it maple.  Grandma doesn't clarify.  Having tasted these cookies throughout my entire intact childhood makes a girl actually know that answer...and not wish to reveal it.  Mostly because standing around with your coworkers while throwing 4-1/2 cups of oatmeal, 1/4 lb chocolate chips, and 1/4 lb M&Ms under a bus, instead of in the bowl with the 2 tsp of baking soda...not the kindest, sisterly act ever, frowned upon by most, if not all of my family.  But alas, it's the cookies that matter most at this point, their crumbs are important to the cookies that made them, and frankly, they won't live forever.  Believe me, there are pictures of all four siblings, and two semi-sisters...everywhere.  Reaffirming the natural order of Grandma's Monster Cookies, only one apology filled-with-honesty short.  Go figure.