Bloody trolls fingers are a pretty common staple among Halloween enthusiasts, dipped in heated raspberry jam and utilizing a basic sugar cookie dough makes them scream authentic. It's so easy to remember 2 cups of flour mixed with 1/2 tsp baking powder and 1/4 tsp salt, that I don't even want to get into it, not today anyway.
If you're so dangblasted stubborn that you can't see the light shed by a stick of room temperature butter beaten for 2-3 minutes with a cup sugar, well then you shouldn't exist on this planet, let alone in the realm of the ordinary. An egg, a teaspoon vanilla, covers just about everything that needs to be said on the matter, you'll see the light someday.
Maybe on your deathbed it will all come rushing back to you, that the rest of us gave it a chance while you wallowed in distrust and plain snobbery. Being the ideal in a family adorned with serial adultery, not quite the Halloween props you were looking for, well get over it.
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