There is a next best thing

...and I'm making them right now, I'll take you through it. Lemme warn you though, 12 ounces of butter and six ounces of cream cheese go into this alternative EGGLESS chocolate chip cookie. Talk about cream cheese smooshed between chocolate chip cookie, quite literally BONDED together, though sans egg you'll remember. Cream together cream cheese, melted and cooled butter, and both types of sugars. Add vanilla, then flour, baking soda and salt. Don't forget the chocolate chips. Roll into 1-inch balls on parchment at 325 for 14-16 minutes. Slightly smoosh cookies before baking. Should make about three pans, but beware, rolled cookies are OILY!

Cannot be done

An egg-and-a-half short is an unusual predicament to be in. I mean, who uses half an egg, the YOLK expressly,...why, a recipe which requires 3 EGGS to make it possible, two-and-a-half which go into the whole entire production. Bye-bye egg white that nobody thought to create a meringue with. So apparently I cannot make those Cheesecake Stuffed Chocolate Chip Bars because I have ONE egg,...not two, not the required two-and-a-half, nor the three eggs in all that would make this indulgence possible. Here, I wanted to spoil the office with them on Monday, hoped to surprise my loved ones who left together for a movie, and just the thought of the cheesecake alone smooshed between two gooey chocolate chip cookie bars. Sent me upward, straight to heaven.

Been there

If you're going to cook your chicken pot pies at 425, like most people do, just watch that pie crust after about 30 minutes. In our household we enjoy all things nicely browned and golden. It is never worthwhile to just go ahead and eat your pie crust underbaked, besides being tasteless it's ugly. Nor does it make any sense to put your pies directly upon the rack, a baking sheet with edges will catch any bubble-overs, and when lined with foil, clean up couldn't BE any easier. I

It sorta reminds you of those people who won't cook because giving of your heart and soul to others is more painful, due to abandonment issues that began at birth, then continued afterwards. Or they just don't know how.

The type of non-cook who justifies stalking you and just about everyone they know ONLINE, because for some, too much closeness and actual relationships that require honesty and accountability, must be too hard. A dreamworld where OTHERS are always envious of you, and all you've accomplished, is preferable to bonding with nieces and nephews and admitting you were wrong.

 Very wrong for digging in garbage cans at work trying to find dirt on your peers, dirt on anyone who you feel superior to, hoarding dirt like it's going out of style and sharing mud pies with your technician who you fired. Obsessed, is how she referred to you.

Old friends of yours who don't buy it anymore, "it's been TOO long, we should get together" reunions are now answered behind YOUR back with... don't you find that as strange as WE do? I mean, it's not like she doesn't have our phone number. Yeah, me too.

Don't forget to refrigerate

When making Killer Crunch Brownies, but upping the ante with milk chocolate both times, you are cautious as you attempt to make two chicken pot pies for your family. The work it entails (hardly any), the ingredients already bought (well, not counting the previously GRILLED chicken)...a 26-oz can cream of chicken soup, a 2 pound bag of frozen mixed vegetables, half that can of milk, and a sprinkling of celery salt and fresh ground pepper. Only thing I forgot after my shopping excursion today was that refrigerated pie crust you unroll on top, I'd already secured a two-pack of FROZEN extra deep pie crust (which you'll pre-bake before filling, at 350 for 10 minutes). So mix that one-and-a-half cups of sugar into your waiting 2 sticks of butter and 12 oz bag of milk chocolate chips, previously melted. Add the teaspoon vanilla and four eggs, each mixed in individually. Add 1-1/2 cups of flour and 1/2 teaspoon of salt. And again, bake As Mel recommends, for 25-30 minutes. Add fluff, add crispies. Then REFRIGERATE, REFRIGERATE, REFRIGERATE....or else your marshmallow will become drippy, and totally ruin the planet.

One-and-a-half cups of sugar SHORT

It was so simple, just start preheating the oven to three-fifty, then turn on that burner and reheat on LOW those two sticks of butter and bag of semisweet chocolate chips (I used MILK, but had to leave MID-recipe), should take all of ten seconds. Let it cool, add one and a half cups sugar, and stir in a teaspoon of vanilla. Add 4 eggs, one at a time, stir in completely. Then one-and-a-half cups of flour combine with one-half teaspoon salt to make brownies (and bake for 30 minutes in a foil-lined, then greased, 9 x 13 pan). Next layer is totally seven ounces of marshmallow fluff spread upon warm aforementioned brownies. Bear with me as I combine on the stovetop on low, 3 cups of rice crispies mixed with a cup of melted chocolate chips and a cup filled with peanut butter. Press onto the top of the fluff, and you've got my free evening being spent repairing my almost-lost recipe. Thank God I had to run to the store to buy SUGAR!

Vistas

When nothing's changed between old college friends, and the memories flood back, the laughter and ties immediately remembered...you feel proud of that Mediterranean Pasta Salad that needed only diced banana peppers to take it over the top. Staying up until 1:30 in the morning reconnecting after almost twenty years of life going on, it's an amazing feeling to have people in the world who have always known you, still do, and consider you to be like family. Catching up on everything you remember to be true about each other, reaffirming that these people resonate with your core self, and standing firm that a yearly repeat of this familiarity and celebratory reunion must occur, only next time at the cabin. It's good to know that old memories can be reignited so effortlessly, that today's successes can so seamlessly weave into the stepping stones of the past. And alongside, it affirms those who ARE family in this little ol' farming community we've been so blessed to reside in for twenty-some years and counting.

Freezer cookies

Peanut butter cookies and oatmeal raisin cookies stored as rolls in the freezer for slice-and-bake preparedness.  A simple recipe times four, take a look at the oatmeal raisin:  1/2 cup butter, 1/2 cup sugar, 1/2 cup packed brown sugar...whipped together.  

Add 1 egg and 1/2 tsp vanilla.  1 cup flour, 1-1/4 cup oats, 1/2 tsp baking soda, 1/2 tsp baking powder, 1/4 tsp salt.  1/2 cup raisins.  Roll into 8-10 inch log, cut 1/4-inch slices, bake 10-12 min at 375 degrees on lightly greased baking sheets.

Quadruple everything into: 2 cups each of butter, sugar, packed brown sugar.  4 eggs, 2 tsp vanilla. 4 cups flour, 5 cups oats, 2 tsp each baking soda and powder, 1 tsp salt.  1-2 cups raisins.

For the peanut butter: 1/2 cup shortening, peanut butter, sugar, packed brown sugar.  

1 egg and 1/2 tsp vanilla.  1-1/4 cups flour and 1 tsp baking soda.  Roll into 8-10 inch log, cut 1-inch slices and then quarter and roll into balls. Bake on ungreased baking sheets at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes.

Quadrupled into: 2 cups each of shortening, peanut butter, sugar, packed brown sugar.

4 eggs and 2 tsp vanilla.  5 cups flour and 4 tsp baking soda.